Confidence is not something we are born with and it takes practise to feel confident in life. Many people suffer from imposter syndrome and being insecure about their bodies, it's even harder to feel secure and confident in the bedroom.

Many reasons can cause the lack of confidence: your culture, original familial environment you grown up with, or traumatized experience. Here are 7 easy ways for you to start practising, take baby steps and grow your sex-confidence.

1. Take inventory of your feelings

Journaling about your personal experiences with sex (whether it’s about conversations you’ve had or sexual acts you’ve engaged in) can allow you to gain a 360-view of why you may not feel confident while having sex.

If you have small data base or you don’t feel comfortable doing it, that’s totally ok. Instead, it might be a good idea to reach out to a professional to help you uncover where this lack of confidence is coming from. 😉💫

2. Get to know yourself on a more intimate level

We’ve mentioned this point before, you need to know yourself. Not just to know what you like to eat, but you need to know yourself on a more intimate level.
Being honest with yourself and not apologizing for it. And because your sexuality is rooted in having a better understanding of yourself, getting to know yourself on a more intimate level can help you build a healthier sexual self-esteem.

3. Safely explore your interest

Discover what works and doesn’t work for your body. How you feel about your body affects your ability to express yourself sexually. 🍃

“It’s worth taking time to reflect on how you feel about your body — every part of it. Think about what parts you like and dislike. Are there parts that you feel ashamed of? Reflect on all of it, as a lack of confidence can show up in subtle ways.”🌷

4. Make a list and set boundaries

As you are safely explore your interests, you start to build your list - what you like and don’t like in and out of the bedroom. 🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏼‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏾‍♀️ 🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏾‍♀️

It’s easier to create your boundaries before you get into a situation that requires them. Write them down somewhere you can check into them regularly, and don’t let anyone make you do things you don’t appreciate. 💫

5. Communicate honestly about sexuality beforehand with your partner(s)

You will only be able to talk to your partner comfortably about what you want and don’t want when you have a better understanding of your needs, body, history and preferences. ❤️

It’s important to communicate before you engage in any sexual act. Again, you need to set up your boundaries, possible shame triggers, and kinks you may feel safe and comfortable doing with your partner(s).❤️

6. Learn to develop routines and habits that'll get you in the mood

Yeah! You’ve finally finished all your research and discovery, now it’s time to create rituals that’ll help you build you confidence with your partner(s) together. 😉

Just like the self-care rituals you do every night, through your exploration, you may discover what instantly works for you and your partner to become aroused more easily and confidently.

Reflection and exploration are the keys to build self-confidence. By listening to what they like and observing their responses, you both can develop routines and habits that’ll safely enhance the sexual experience for both of you. 😘


Cliche, eh? But it’s true. You can’t love other people until you love yourself. 😇

You and yourself is the first relationship you need to deal with, if it is off all others will suffer regardless of the type of relationship - professional, platonic, romantic or family.❤️

Before you hop into bed with someone else, hop into bed with yourself.😘

No one says gaining sexual confidence will happen over night and it definitely takes time. Just because you have slept with different people or masturbate a bunch of times, it doesn’t mean you have a good sense of sexual confidence.😌

If you want a take away from here, it all begins with you.

★ Reviews

Let customers speak for us

123 reviews
Little Whale
erotica_peach (Canada)
Age: 21
Gender: Female
This Little Whale will be your new best friend!

Cuddly Buddy Collection has new toys and I am so excited for them! This Little Whale was an amazing experience. I also have the original cuddly bird design which is one of my favourite toys so far. Since I have tried both toys I can make a quick review/comparison of both together.

As someone who enjoys more external/clit stimulation rather than penetrative stimulation with my toys, Little Whale was a perfect mix of vibration, pulsation and licking motion. Cuddly Bird has amazing suction features but I consider that it lacked vibration. Little Whale has amazing vibration power for those who enjoy those features and it also has really good suction power. I absolutely love the fact that you can remove the upper suction "mouth" for anyone who either needs that adjustment or simply wants to enjoy the licking motion more often. I found that the licking motion was a bit fast even at its lowest level and it didn't seem natural to me but I also know this is a personal preference and I know others who enjoy the vibration and faster licking motion toys. This one is perfect for anyone who would like to combine all three aspects. I also use it with my partner during sex and it just adds a lot to it. My partner also enjoys the vibration of it and it enhances the pleasure.

I honestly don't really use the self-warming feature, I am not saying it is not a good feature, but I personally feel better without it as it tends to heat up quite a bit on the "belly" of the whale where I place my hand to hold it.

I think overall it is a beautiful toy and it just has all the different elements that any other person would enjoy. I've been using it for a couple of months now and the quality is really good, as usual. Have you tried it? Let me know what you think? (@erotica_peach)

- Erotica Peach

Cuddly Bird
Morgan (United States)
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Strong toy for a quick O

I got my cuddly buddy about a month ago (I like to get to know my toys before writing a review). I am very happy with it! It's outside is super soft and a little squishy which is so much nicer then hard plastic. I did have a bit of an adjustment period at the beginning because the suction is WAY stronger than my last one. And I mean STRONG! Half the time I don't even have to go past the first setting! I find the vibration part is definitely weaker but it's still nice, especially when you back and forth between suction and vibration.

Punk Rock Leather Choker

The only two difference (or downsides) is less spikes than whats shown and colors are slightly pastel in person rather than vibrant (if you are picky with what you purchase), other then that you are getting exactly whats in the pictures and they package it well making sure that it keeps its shape! (The second and third ones are to show how big and small it can be)

Punk Rock Leather Choker

Punk Rock Leather Choker

Cuddly Bird
Jennis (United States)
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Better than I expect!

The package actually arrived earlier than expected. I was so happy I ordered before the Christmas traffic jam. The toy has a very smooth body and the size fits my hand perfectly. I have to admit it was my first time trying this kind of sonic pulsation and IT IS THE BEST ORGASM I EVER HAD!! Put a towel underneath, my friendly reminder. Highly recommend!!!